Politicin’ Carbon Offset
Similar in nature to our famous fart offsets, these Politicin’ Carbon Offset certificates show how much you care for your favorite politician by offsetting the amount of carbon released by an especially contentious election season.
A certificate worth 50 pounds of carbon and a letter from you will be sent to your favorite President, Congress critter, Governor, Mayor, or even dog catcher!
A copy of what they get will be sent to you for your records.
A sample of the letter:
Dear [xxx]:
I take seriously my personal responsibility to reduce emissions of carbon dioxide, a suspected contributor to “Human-Mediated Global Warming.” I am “carbon neutral” with respect to my person through an offset for “carbon of personal emission” (purchased through “Good Ideas Gone Bad” at www.goodideasgonebad.net). I honor and respect the efforts you are making on behalf of all of us to combat the production of greenhouse gases, which may enhance “global warming.”
I am concerned, however, about your extra efforts, including the increase in public speaking you undoubtedly have had to undertake in addressing this serious problem. You no doubt have increased your own carbon-loading of the environment, from your increased exhalations while making these important orations.
I am pleased and proud to help you be confident that your vital efforts will not add to the problem by presenting you with this special gift certificate: “Offset for Increased Political Exhalation.” This certificate offsets 50 pounds of your personal emissions, so you can be assured your efforts will be all to the good and will have no overall detrimental effects on our precious environment.
Act now, and we will include for YOU, a paint peeler personal carbon offset at 25% off the regular cost.
Such a deal!
